The Satanic Temple’s Baphomet Statue

Excellent work from our minions at the BBC: Decoding the Symbols on Satan’s Statue.

A controversial statue unveiled by the Satanic Temple at a secret ceremony in Detroit has attracted protests. But who is the goat-headed figure? And what do the elements of the statue symbolise?

The answers in the article come directly from our friends at The Satanic Temple, makers of a beautiful Baphomet statue originally meant for Oklahoma, but which may end up in Arkansas before all is said and done.

Of course, the media keeps calling it a statue of Satan himself, which we find endlessly amusing. Just as the voice of G-d would render your puny minds to jelly, so would the actual visage of Our Dark Lord. But do go on, WXYZ-Detroit, about the recent unveiling.

A rather balanced report, wouldn’t you say? I’d share who in power is on our side there, but you know as well as we do: everyone in power is on our side.

Strong Work, Everyone

In the news…

Satanists to Hold Controversial Black Mass in Oklahoma

Raise your hand if you think the prayer campaign against it will do one bit of good? If Christians believe the man upstairs allows all things to happen and the bad is just a test of faith, then you’ll have to make peace with this, Oklahoma. It’s happening.

Bible-pushing Christians open the door for Satanic activity books in Florida schools

The U.S. courts have been clear: if a school distributes Christian literature, all other faiths are allowed to be represented as well. Atheists got this ball rolling a few months ago, now our delightful minions are following suit. Unintended consequences, anyone?

Prayer in School

The U.S. Courts have also ruled if a local or state government wishes to erect a Ten Commandments (or share other Christian demagoguery) in public space, they are required to make room for statues, memorials, or shrines from different faiths. Hence, atheists now have a bench near a courthouse in Florida and the Satanic Temple has entered their official request to erect a Baphomet statue near the Oklahoma statehouse.

Satanic Temple Baphomet

Their request has been stalled, though, seemingly on purpose. We have no doubt it will eventually wind its way through the courts until a) the Ten Commandments on statehouse grounds is removed, or b) their statue goes up. Either way we win, but not through taking away Bible quotes or shoving Satan in anyone’s face. No, we own the souls of the terminally self-righteous, those who are fighting so hard to be right they forget how to be tolerant and accepting of their fellow humans.

Pride really is our favorite sin here.

The Satanic Temple will build its first chapter house in Detroit

A little slice of Hell in America’s version of same. Plus the property values have got to be incredibly low. There was also a rumor the organization will open several new chapters, but the only evidence we can find is on a site that regularly gets their info from a direct source down here. You can bet your doomed soul we don’t trust that guy.

We should note the Satanic Temple is NOT the same group doing the black mass in Oklahoma, but that could be even scarier to the locals if they take a moment to consider there are TWO devil-worshiping groups vying for attention in their state. We have no idea why, Okies, other than to aggravate you. It’s much easier work to reap souls on the coasts. Maybe it’s the challenge.

Meanwhile, in Canada…

Oh, Canadians, taking such things in stride. A polite and accepting culture, that one. Come to think of it, there aren’t many Canadians here at all. Could be they’re so nice to stay out of this heat. No time to contemplate it, though. We have to get back to work making room for those of you who will be joining us soon.

By the way, we didn’t get Joan or Robin, not for lack of trying. Turns out the Almighty appreciates a kind heart overflowing with laughter, regardless of belief.

A Rare Interview

Our Dark Lord took some time out from supervising the personal torments reserved for racists to talk with Stephen Colbert this week.

The more you know: just as a supernatural entity with a beard may not be the man upstairs, any creature with horns isn’t necessarily Satan.

Super Satanic Spectacle

As was predicted here in Hell as the event progressed just a couple of months ago, the truly batshit insane among fundamentalist Christians have deconstructed Madonna’s halftime show and decided it’s chock full of Satanic content. This rumor is spreading as as fast as their little hands can type it and includes comparison imagery to “prove” the story.

We don’t work quite so blatantly around here. Our schtick leans more toward the smaller, easier-to-get temptations, like hours on Facebook instead of paying attention to your kids, miscounting change to a customer and pocketing it, or having an affair while your wife battles cancer. The ostentation known as the Super Bowl halftime show just isn’t us.

In the time it would take us to plan, implement, and ensure all those millions of eyes were on the pop stars during everyone’s favorite annual sporting spectacle of excess, we’d have a billion souls in our pocket, so why bother? It’s so much easier to get one of you to tell a homeless guy “Get a job!” than it is to put together a production of that magnitude. Remember, sloth is one of the deadlies, and we are experts at it.

Besides, most of that imagery isn’t Satanic at all. It’s Egyptian, Masonic, Pagan, Roman … even Kabbalah, even if it was involved, is Jewish, not Satanic. Though there was a time when Jew and ultimate evil were interchangeable terms in a lot of people’s minds.

1940 German propaganda film poster

Those were the days … six million people murdered. Again, not our idea, but implemented so well, it made the Father of Lies proud. He still speaks of it with a wistful look in his eye.

So, to reiterate, we had absolutely nothing to do with this year’s theme for halftime at the Super Bowl. We’ve got much more interesting and efficient ways to accelerate our population growth.

What we will neither confirm nor deny is whether the show was created specifically for our benefit.

L-U-V, Madonna indeed.

Symbology 101 – Baphomet

The word baphomet dates back through the ages and as far back as the Knights Templar. Modern scholars believe it is a corruption of the word Muhammed (by way of Old French, Mahomet), which makes sense in the way one religion is always trying to make another look like heresy.

The most popular version of the Baphomet was hand drawn by Eliphas Lévi in the 1850s.

If one believes what is said in church / mosque / synagogue, the Baphomet figure is THE central symbol of Satanism. Though it has been co-opted by many pagan and occult movements, including the Golden Thelema of Aleister Crowley, only the Sigil of Baphomet – an inverted pentagram with a goat’s head – is officially used in Satanism.

As with a lot of symbols, the Baphomet is much more than meets the eye; it’s an amalgamation, including the pagan goat god (or Pan), who stands in for man as unforgiven sinner. Lévi wrote [from Wikipedia, all emphases ours]:

The goat on the frontispiece carries the sign of the pentagram on the forehead, with one point at the top, a symbol of light, his two hands forming the sign of occultism, the one pointing up to the white moon of Chesed, the other pointing down to the black one of Geburah. This sign expresses the perfect harmony of mercy with justice. His one arm is female, the other male like the ones of the androgyne of Khunrath, the attributes of which we had to unite with those of our goat because he is one and the same symbol. The flame of intelligence shining between his horns is the magic light of the universal balance, the image of the soul elevated above matter, as the flame, whilst being tied to matter, shines above it. The beast’s head expresses the horror of the sinner, whose materially acting, solely responsible part has to bear the punishment exclusively; because the soul is insensitive according to its nature and can only suffer when it materializes. The rod standing instead of genitals symbolizes eternal life, the body covered with scales the water, the semi-circle above it the atmosphere, the feathers following above the volatile. Humanity is represented by the two breasts and the androgyne arms of this sphinx of the occult sciences.

Harmony? Justice? Mercy?! NOT evil. Moreover, fire, air, water, man, woman, up, and down are all pagan concepts. Hence, the Baphomet simply isn’t the embodiment of evil most uninformed people consider it today.

Knowledge is power. We like power.

(More resources may be found here.)